Actually, it's FTW 5, but I lost 3 and 4 sucked.
Charlie
I don't have much time, Spontaneous Combustion Man is coming. He makes things turn into Sphagetti X. Sphagetti X is so awesome that it makes cacti come to life and it turns out cacti are REALLY nice people, who love hugs. At some point they will hug Barack Osama, and 17 golden sporks will be inserted up my a- I mean, a giant sinkhole. Then the Millenyan Falcat will upgrade its weaponry to WTF lasers (they turn people into WTF people in impact, who like to interrupt stories but that's not pos-)
A WTF laser is heard
A bunch of machine gun fire is heard
A body thumps on the ground
I need to tell Bob to fix the RETARDIS, the SQUEETARDIS is just fraeking creepy. OH CRAP SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION MAN
Bob
GET IN HERE I FIXED THE RETARDIS
Charlie
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
RETARDIS noises are heard
Where are we?
Bob
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE